This week has highlighted that my associations with Bridget Jones are entirely justified. This has included verbal diarrhoea, getting lost for a manicure which almost involved a sheep being run over and being reminded of a school trip where by I fell down the stairs.
The verbal diarrhoea consisted of me spilling out whatever was in my head , without my brain having the courtesy of stepping in and saying 'hang on a sec'. I can only hope the recipient was bemused by this or was so lost by ramblings they struggled to keep up. Thankfully, I'm use to this and have learnt to retrieve the situation by either humour or flashing an apologetic smile ( no teeth though, unless you're a crazed photographer you are not getting teeth out of me. Failing that I try to seek something positive from the situation like, 'At least I liked my dress'.
The getting lost for manicure was a direct result of some dodgy sat nav instructions and me not clearly researching where I was going, this was compounded by the battery on my phone dying just as I was lost. So basically, the sat nav takes me the longest way and eventually I end up in the grounds of a magnificent hall in the the countryside, including a Lake, and even swans. As I pull up I'm suddenly aware my dress and knee high boots makes me stand out like a sore thumb from the very fancy wedding guests milling around my car. I get out, realise my phone is dead, take one look at the hall, panic and think I'm in the wrong place. I frantically, get back in the car, search the Sat Nat for the beauticians name but to no avail. I decide to give up and go home as I'm already late. As I'm driving down the lane, I see a sign for the Farrier's Centre and for some reason it rings a bell, so I follow it. I then discover this brings me back into the other side of the halls estate, down some bendy tracks. As I'm coming round one of these bends, a sheep that can smell the panic in my blood, appears from now where, and I swerve to miss it. I swear it knew what was happening and if it could of organised an entire flock to slow me down,it would have. I pull into a car park, with no sheep dents, and get directions to the beauticians. Running through the county grounds disturbing ramblers walking in peace with my boots on gravel, I finally find my destination. I apologise profusely and happily I get my manicure. That is the last time I accept a half price manicure offer on facebook though.
The school trip memory was from a conversation with a friend about going to Germany. Anyone who knows me, knows that whilst I have some renowned dance moves, in terms of day to day life I am not graceful, in fact I am incredibly clumsy. If there is a desk to be walked into, paving stone to tripped over or high heels to be fallen off, then that is me. On this particular occasion I vaguely remember running down the stairs in our youth hostel, away from a boy. (Yes I'm aware that's out of character). Unfortunately, whilst doing this I turned to answer to someone shouting from down the stairs which resulted in me falling down the final flight and landing on my back. Safe to say I spent the last night of the trip with an icepack on, sat with the teachers and contemplating that rather than carrying on and ignoring, deciding to speak at the wrong time would be likely to cause me further trouble in life..
Despite these moments, I did discover this little Bridget has fire, and not just the fake kind when the red for danger lipstick comes out.
I'd always considered myself an expressive person, apparently with my hands mainly. But I found that when I feel strongly about a subject my voice raises along with the level of hand gestures. This doesn't necessarily confirm the strength of my convictions, but the passion in my voice and the look in my eyes shows undoubtedly that my fire has been fuelled.
The subject of this fire was a discussion regarding acting in hate/anger . As I believe in second chances I can honestly say there is no-one that I hate. Hate is too strong for me. There are people whom I dislike and negative people whom I avoid so that they do not darken my day, but I do not hate them. Even the people whom have hurt me and some would consider I should hate them, I'm grateful that even if for a brief period they contributed to my life. As far as I'm concerned, Hate is not an option. My favourite quote on this is "I shall allow no person to belittle my soul by making me hate them".
If I've discussed hate then it makes sense to move onto love. No philosophy or quotes on this for now but just to say I'm full of love and gratitude for the people who have helped to start off the fund raising . It's touching when people contribute to someone else's cause and this has been demonstrated in colleagues baking cakes, selling their homegrown vegetables and offering to have the company logo shaved into their head and dyed red. So far £100 has been raised. With £3,000 in total to raise, its daunting, but with the support I have had so far its reinforced my belief that I can do it.
In the fund raising pipeline, theres more baking, eyebrow threading and I may give up make up for a period of time. I think I need to seek advice from those around me as to whether they can handle my pale tired unplastered face looking at them before I commit to this.
But for now, Goodnight.
Much love ( no hate)
Katie x
Today's song is: The Cure: Lovesong.
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